Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Okay, kids, let's talk about Valentine's Day...

Ahh Valentine's Day...that most lovely of holidays where we all express our love and affection for our significant others.

You know what? Why do we need a day to do this? Honestly? I blame Hallmark, who is definitely operating in conjunction with the chocolate and flower industries.

You know who else I blame? Men. Yes. That's right. I blame my gender. If we weren't (typically) so oblivious to what's going on around us, we wouldn't have to be subject to the pressure of V-Day. And trust me ladies, for guys V-Day is like preparing for war. You have to arm yourself (see: candy/flowers/etc.), develop a strategy (dinner plans, whatever), and then fight hard to simply survive (not tick off your mate). If you don't, well, let's just say it's not fun times.

So, now that I know you are all begging for more of my's what I think we, as men, should do.

If we hate the pressure and build up of V-day so much, why not do smaller things throughout the year? Honestly, take out the trash a few times, call her randomly and tell her how you feel, send her a letter (yeah, those things you actually write out and put in the mail. You know they still send those things, right?), etc. and you'll be pure money, man. I think if we were all just a little more attentive, then if we were to maybe fail a little bit on Valentine's Day, we would not be casualties of this tragic war. Instead, we would have built up some credit or leverage or however you want to see it. You mess up on Valentine's Day? Just remind her of the time you sent her that (crappy) poem you wrote just for her. Or the times you called her for no reason. There, now instead of being executed by the firing squad (read: her when she tells her friends how you botched Valentine's day), you'll have done some damage control. Maybe you'll just lose a finger or something.

That is all.

For now...

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