Monday, May 28, 2007

My what? My grill!

I bought a grill.

I will now cook delicious meats upon said grill.

I also bought a bocce ball set, so I'm looking forward to that too. I remember first being introduced to bocce ball at Off-Campus events during Rush. It is a simple lawn game that entails throwing softball-sized balls at a smaller target ball. And it is good times. I miss Rush.

Jill and I went to the Zoo on Thursday, and it was a lot of fun. Check Facebook for pictures of animals. And Jill in a giant nest, looking extraordinarily cute.

I love summer.


Saturday, May 19, 2007

I am a killing machine...

At least on Star Wars Battlefront II, that is. I racked up over 300 kills in one round. Stupid thing resets at 255 though for some reason, so I had to keep a manual count.

As you can tell, I'm doing nothing productive. Summertime is great. Although it would be better if a certain special someone were here. Oh well... just a couple more days.

My mom visited yesterday. She was on her way down to Florida to spend a week with some family members. So it was nice to get to spend some time with her, since I haven't been home all year. Literally. We hung out, went to my softball game (we lost, dang it), and then had dinner with friends/coworkers of mine. Good times.

Alright... I think I'm gonna try to get some real work done for SHIFT tomorrow night. It's the last one of the season, and I need to organize my thoughts.

And then I'll probably kill some more stuff. But only on my PS2.


Thursday, May 17, 2007

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone...

I'm such a sap. Jill's out of town for a few days, and I'm just sitting around my apartment. Kinda sad. Missing her. Bored. Etc. I suppose there are plenty of things I could be doing, but instead I'm sitting here dwelling in my malaise. She'll be back in a few days, but man, it's just not the same without her.

Now that school is finally finished (yes, I did finish that last paper. Sort of. I kinda ran out of time, but it wasn't totally horrible. But the best part is that it is finished), I have time to breath again. To enjoy life again. To hang out with Jill, with friends, with all my friends at Briarlake, etc. To read for fun. To rest. To watch movies. You get the point.

And now that I have this free time, I've been feeling kinda weird lately. Not like health-weird, more like a-lot-on-my-mind weird. I find myself locked up inside my head, even when I'm hanging out with Jill or other people. Odd. It happens every now and then, I suppose. I remember times like this in the past, where I would spend more time thinking things over with myself instead of talking to other people. I guess that's just how I roll most of the time. But I need to learn to talk more to other people. To seek their advice, to bounce ideas. We live in community- be it our friends, the church, work, family, whatever. People are communal. I *know* this, I just find it hard to really do. I've always been rather private and more than comfortable keeping to myself. Note to self: open up sometimes- you have someone who will listen.

I don't even know why it happens, why I get lost in my own head. There's not that much there. I guess recently I've spent a lot of time looking toward the future, trying to get my plans set up for next school year, and then after that.... ominous... It's a daunting task, staring "the real world" right in the face and trying not to blink. Come this time next year, I will be a graduate of Candler with a Master's Degree, and trying to find gainful employment. And on a more important, personal level, I'll (Lord willing... seriously. Please?) be with Jill and figuring out where we're going to be and what we'll be doing. All my adult life (so far), I've been able to make decisions based on what I need/want to do. But I'm at a point in my life where I need to think not only of myself, but how those decisions impact others. Not saying that I haven't tried (or should have) to do that in the past, but when it came down to it, I had the final call.

Now things are different. It's a new challenge, and I'm just getting into it. I guess that's why I've been lost in my own thoughts. This whole "thinking bigger than myself" thing is a newish development. Hopefully I won't mess it up. Life is pretty spectacular now, and things are going really well. I just need to step up and be the person I can be. Be the best boyfriend, youth minister, friend, son, whatever, that I can be. And that's probably going to involve me opening up and giving a bit more of myself. Something at which I have not always been the best. So, I guess by writing this out, I'm pushing myself to step up to the challenge. Let's see how this all works out.


Friday, May 04, 2007

I am Jack's complete lack of brainpower

Yes I haven't posted in months after repeated statements saying I would. Sorry.

It's the end of the semester, and one stinkin' final exam stands between me and nearly 4 months of freedom. And I can't write. I haven't had writer's block this bad ever. 6 single spaced pages gets me to freedom, and I can't make myself write.

I am completely tapped out, mentally.

This has been a vicious semester for me, school work-wise. Everything else outside of school has been incredible- I've got an amazing woman who loves me, I've got a job working with an awesome group of kids, I have great friends who make me laugh, etc. But school just sucked this semester. Despite my typical complaints, I've always kind of enjoyed school. Not this semester.

And so instead of forcing myself to type, I am sitting here updating this blog. This paper is due Monday at 5pm. A little under 3 days from now. That's way too much time. I work so much better under pressure. Perhaps that is why I can't write. I actually feed off the pressure and it forces me to focus. I've always been that way. Some people hate it, and I seem to need it to write. But I want so badly to be done. And this is the quandary.

I think I understand now what Paul was saying in Romans 7:15, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do" Such is my life. I want so much to just be done, and yet I do not write. I suppose I should learn from this. At the very least, I'll have a personal story should I ever preach on Romans 7.

I need to write. Let's hope I can power my way through this writer's block and reach that blessed land of freedom.