Friday, July 04, 2008
Fire In the Hole!
Avast ye scalawags and other assorted piratey greetings. It would appear that our otherwise quiet neighborhood is, at present, being besieged by pirate ships with long guns and cannons. This siege started yesterday afternoon. I was sitting at the dining room table reading when all of the sudden...
I actually jumped out of my chair it was so loud. You hear cannons in movies, the roaring concussive sound that vibrates the air around you. That was exactly what it sounded like. The shelling continued intermittently all day, and into the night. There was a ceasefire from about 1:00am until roughly 11:00am this morning.
The shelling continues today. Morale is dropping. The crew is tense, anticipating the clash of swords to come. We are also curious as to how the ship will approach our landlocked abode.
I am scrambling around the house, preparing munitions and stockpiling supplies. Also, I am looking for billowing shirts and bandanas, as well as a hat befitting someone of my rank.
I need to acquire a parrot, and perhaps a hook and/or eyepatch.
But not scurvy. That stuff is horrible. Trust me.
I will continue to send updates as circumstances allow. May God have mercy on us all...