Friday, May 04, 2007

I am Jack's complete lack of brainpower

Yes I haven't posted in months after repeated statements saying I would. Sorry.

It's the end of the semester, and one stinkin' final exam stands between me and nearly 4 months of freedom. And I can't write. I haven't had writer's block this bad ever. 6 single spaced pages gets me to freedom, and I can't make myself write.

I am completely tapped out, mentally.

This has been a vicious semester for me, school work-wise. Everything else outside of school has been incredible- I've got an amazing woman who loves me, I've got a job working with an awesome group of kids, I have great friends who make me laugh, etc. But school just sucked this semester. Despite my typical complaints, I've always kind of enjoyed school. Not this semester.

And so instead of forcing myself to type, I am sitting here updating this blog. This paper is due Monday at 5pm. A little under 3 days from now. That's way too much time. I work so much better under pressure. Perhaps that is why I can't write. I actually feed off the pressure and it forces me to focus. I've always been that way. Some people hate it, and I seem to need it to write. But I want so badly to be done. And this is the quandary.

I think I understand now what Paul was saying in Romans 7:15, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do" Such is my life. I want so much to just be done, and yet I do not write. I suppose I should learn from this. At the very least, I'll have a personal story should I ever preach on Romans 7.

I need to write. Let's hope I can power my way through this writer's block and reach that blessed land of freedom.


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