Friday, September 08, 2006

My future homelessness and other assorted musings...

Yeah, so I'm going to be homeless soon.

Emory has "other plans" for Turner Village starting July, 2007. Which means I've gotta find somewhere else to live for next school year (I'm cool this year). It would have been REALLY nice if they would have told me this before I signed a lease for this year. I would have went ahead and moved somewhere to get it over with. ARGH! I'm just frustrated right now, about this housing crap, and school stuff, and just other stuff.

School started on Tuesday. It's going to be an intense semester. Essentially, the only classes I am taking this semester are requirements- I've got Intro to New Testament, Systematic Theology, Ecclesiastes, Intro to Judaism and Con Ed. Notice the lack of youth ministry-related courses. That's kind of a bummer. Oh well. C'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?

Anyway, I'm still getting back into the school flow, which is in no way related to the ill flow I have when I step to the mic... wait. What? Yeah... sorry. I'm trying to get used to reading, and writing papers, and going to class. All that stuff they expect you to do in grad school. Who's idea was that, by the way? I'm ready to be done with school. I'm ready to get into a full-time youth ministry position. But, I've got two more years here, and I plan on making the best of them. I'm at one of the top schools in the country, both Emory and Candler, so I just need to be thankful for the opportunity, even if it does seem ridiculous at times.

SHIFT is going well. We've had a great couple of events, and I have a feeling this Sunday is going to be great as well. We've got all kinds of good plans. Of course, it means nothing if God's not working there. But I feel God has been, and will continue to be, there. We've all been praying for SHIFT and Momentum, and so far it's been awesome. So for those of you who read this, keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Let's see, what else is new? Got a new roommate. Todd. We have a lot in common, and we act quite a bit alike. We're going to get along pretty well. He's a cool cat.

Mentally, I've been lost in thought as of late, my mind working overtime trying to figure some things out. I don't even know. Thought I had it figured out, now I'm not so sure. So many things are beyond my control (Obscure and vague, I know. Just let me keep this one to myself).

As an aside, my Ecclesiastes class is going to be good for me I think. When I read the book, I feel like I could have written it. I can feel the author's frustration with the way things are, his angst when he says "Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless," (or "Vanity" depending on the translation. Both are accurate). It just seems like no matter how much I try, no matter how hard I work, things don't ever seem to work out. I was looking at some lyrics from Thrice the other day, and the song "Stare at the Sun" stuck out. The chorus goes like so:

"'Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Till I understand or go blind"

I feel like I need God to do something in my life (notice "I feel like I need," not "I know I need"), something miraculous. Things are going well. This summer was awesome, and I learned so much, and I was able to do so much with the youth. All that was excellent. It really was. I loved it, and it's the main reason I don't want to go back to school. But all that stuff was somewhat external. I don't know; my thoughts on this are running as I type. I just feel like I could use something in my life; I feel a void, an incompleteness, like a huge part of me is just missing. Hmm...

Back to Ecclesiastes... yeah, this class will be awesome. The professor is brilliant (most of them are at Candler. Brilliant, but strange.), and he's funny. And I love the subject. So, hopefully that all adds up to me reaching a deeper, tripartite understanding: more understanding of God, of the book, and of myself.

Alright. I've babbled long enough. No one is reading anymore...haha. I kid, I kid. To anyone who does read, I appreciate it. Feel free to leave me a note, to call me out on something, whatever. Let me know what you think.

Until next time.



Anonymous said...

I still read your blog every now and then. Its a good way to keep up with you, and what's going on. Although I don't know exactly why you're feeling the way you are, hang in there-things will get better. And I always pray for you!! :) How awesome that you are going to be a youth minister! I always said you'd be a preacher, but I was close ... =)

Amy said...

hey corey. of course we read to the very end. :) hang in there. God's got an awesome plan for you. and i'm glad that you're at BBC sharing the talents that God has given you with the youth. thanks for all your hard work!