That's right... Jill and I are engaged as of about 6:30pm Monday, February 4, 2008. I am extremely excited about all of this. I think I've told the story at least a dozen times, and I'm sure she's told it even more. Here's a brief recap for the two or three people in our world who might not have heard:
About 6-8 months ago, I was leaving Jill's apartment (back when we lived in Turner Village). Her cable ran along the wall and in front of her door frame, so it often came unstuck. I knelt down on one knee to tape it back in place, and as I was doing that, I thought I might mess with her a little bit. I reached into my pocket as though I were grabbing a surprise (i.e. an engagement ring). She looked really shocked, scared even. She said "Don't do that. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I laughed, and told her the next time I was down on one knee in front of her, I'd have a ring and it would be a real proposal.
Fast forward to Monday. We had made plans to go grab some dinner at Panera. I showed up at her door at 6:30 and knocked. I was on one knee, "tying my shoe" (which I had to untie beforehand to make it look real). When she came to the door, I tied my shoe, and then looked at her, asking "Do you remember what I told you the last time I was on my knees like this?..." Her eyes lit up, and her hand flew up to her face. I said "Will you marry me?" and after a brief pause (I'm hoping due to surprise/shock, not fear or disgust), she said yes. Then we made the requisite calls to family and friends, got dressed up and went to dinner at Le Giverny, a nice French restaurant, which was the first nice place she and I went as a couple.
The wedding will be this summer, at a date not yet set.
So, needless to say, it has been an incredible week. Looking back over the last few years, it has been an interesting journey. Coming in to Candler, I was beginning to wonder if I was going to spend the rest of my life as a lonely old man. But my wonder was premature. From the very first day at Candler, when I met Jill at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Center, I felt something important there, something more than the joy of making a new friend. This was deeper, a connection that felt like it had always been there, and I was just stumbling upon it. The shifting sand of life, shaken up by my move to Atlanta and starting grad school, had brought forth this connection to someone I had just met, but felt like I had known from childhood. I know it sounds dramatic, cheesy, whatever, but the point is is that it was very, very real, and still is.
We didn't start dating until last December ('06, not '07), but by that point she was easily my best friend. No one else was close (not discounting the great friendships I have- don't get the wrong idea y'all). From the beginning, we just clicked. To steal from the band Mae, "I [could] feel something different from the first time/ Heaven made sense, and all the words rhymed." ( From the song "Ready and Waiting to Fall").
Being with her has always made sense. So, naturally I want to be with her always. Call it sappy, call it romantic, call it what you will. I call it real. And now I call her my fiancee.
And that is the best news I may have ever had.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Music to my ears...
I stretched out on my floor this afternoon and listened to music. I haven't done this in forever. I mean, I have music on all the time in the background while I write papers or read for class or kill time on Facebook or playing games on the internet, but I can't remember the last time I sat down and listened to an entire album, start to finish, doing nothing but soaking in the sound. Not using it as background noise just so there's something to hear, but rather really listening to it, trying to hear what the artist is saying.
I realized how much I miss it.
As I lay sprawled out on the floor, listening to Thrice's "Water" disc from "The Alchemy Index," I spent half an hour soaking up an amazing work of art. This EP is part of what will eventually be a 4-disc set, each disc devoted to one of the four elements- earth, air, fire, and water, each with its own distinct feel. The fire and water albums, which are part of "The Alchemy Index, pt. I" are out now, with earth and air coming out as pt. 2 this spring. The fire album is raw molten metal, brimming with a prophetic defiance. Water, on the other hand, has a more introspective, solitary feel, making excellent use of digital effects to give each song a distinctly aquatic feel. If you're interested in some amazing music with intelligent, though-provoking lyrics, check them out. They're my favorite band...ever. I can firmly say that. Each album finds them getting better and better.
Where was I going?
Oh.
I have a rather sizable collection of music, but most of the time I find I'm only using it to fill up the quiet. It's there, but I'm not giving it real attention. I use it as a token, a perfunctory relationship that I exploit when I need it to do something for me.
And I realize, this is often times how I live my relationship with God. It's always there. I'm surrounded by the idea of God, discussion of God, studying about God, etc. I am in seminary, after all. But so often, I'm just using it as filler, as background noise, instead of really listening, instead of really engaging.
Ouch.
This revelation hurts a bit. It makes me realize that I'm not just here to get a degree, to read about God. I'm here because of a calling, because of my part in an ongoing relationship with Christ. And there are times when I'm just not as involved as I need to be. Instead of putting this relationship on as background noise, I need to listen. I need to engage, to hear what is being said. To respond.
I realized how much I miss it.
I realize also that no matter how much I can get it screwed up, the grace is still there. The music has never stopped playing; notes and lines continue to sound from speakers. But the whole time, the song remained the same.
I just forgot how to listen intentionally.
So I try to listen. To quiet my own noise, and listen.
To quote Thrice:
"I am drowning in a digital sea
I am slipping between the sound
Here my voice goes to ones and zeroes
I'm slipping beneath the sound"
-"Digital Sea"
Here my voice goes to ones and zeroes... now maybe I can begin to listen again.
I realized how much I miss it.
As I lay sprawled out on the floor, listening to Thrice's "Water" disc from "The Alchemy Index," I spent half an hour soaking up an amazing work of art. This EP is part of what will eventually be a 4-disc set, each disc devoted to one of the four elements- earth, air, fire, and water, each with its own distinct feel. The fire and water albums, which are part of "The Alchemy Index, pt. I" are out now, with earth and air coming out as pt. 2 this spring. The fire album is raw molten metal, brimming with a prophetic defiance. Water, on the other hand, has a more introspective, solitary feel, making excellent use of digital effects to give each song a distinctly aquatic feel. If you're interested in some amazing music with intelligent, though-provoking lyrics, check them out. They're my favorite band...ever. I can firmly say that. Each album finds them getting better and better.
Where was I going?
Oh.
I have a rather sizable collection of music, but most of the time I find I'm only using it to fill up the quiet. It's there, but I'm not giving it real attention. I use it as a token, a perfunctory relationship that I exploit when I need it to do something for me.
And I realize, this is often times how I live my relationship with God. It's always there. I'm surrounded by the idea of God, discussion of God, studying about God, etc. I am in seminary, after all. But so often, I'm just using it as filler, as background noise, instead of really listening, instead of really engaging.
Ouch.
This revelation hurts a bit. It makes me realize that I'm not just here to get a degree, to read about God. I'm here because of a calling, because of my part in an ongoing relationship with Christ. And there are times when I'm just not as involved as I need to be. Instead of putting this relationship on as background noise, I need to listen. I need to engage, to hear what is being said. To respond.
I realized how much I miss it.
I realize also that no matter how much I can get it screwed up, the grace is still there. The music has never stopped playing; notes and lines continue to sound from speakers. But the whole time, the song remained the same.
I just forgot how to listen intentionally.
So I try to listen. To quiet my own noise, and listen.
To quote Thrice:
"I am drowning in a digital sea
I am slipping between the sound
Here my voice goes to ones and zeroes
I'm slipping beneath the sound"
-"Digital Sea"
Here my voice goes to ones and zeroes... now maybe I can begin to listen again.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Disconnectedness...
Over the last few weeks, I have been talking to Jill, and several other people here at Candler, about how disconnected we all are, how we all feel isolated, stranded, even alone at times. Essentially, I heard from a variety of sources that we all feel like (despite Candler’s claims to the contrary) there is no community here, that we’re on our own here. I’ve heard similar sentiments from everyone ranging from first-years to third-years.
We’re all busy. Between class, work, reading, writing, and sleeping (occasionally), it’s a wonder anyone here has time for others and for the self. It is a hectic time. If one were to do all the assigned readings, all the papers, the studying and so forth, there would be absolutely no way to even get a healthy amount of sleep each night, not to mention time to eat, bathe, etc. Nearly every professor feels like theirs is the only class any of us have. And the handful of professors who don’t are dearly loved by their students.
Anyway, getting back from the tangent...
The point is, we all feel kind of isolated. Wondering if this is the place for us, or where we’re going to be after we graduate. We wonder if we have real friends here, friends who will still be in our lives after graduation. Yeah, we’re all going different places, but with facebook, email, blogs, cell phones, no one is far away. But the point is, are these friends who will reach back? Maybe that’s just me, but I wonder how many of the people here I will actually keep in touch with, and of those, who will bother to keep in touch with me. It’s a two-way street. I just wonder if I’m the only car who’ll be driving it.
(I realize the hypocritical nature of me saying that. I have friends from Transy who I never talk to. And that’s my fault. If any of you are reading, I’m sorry. I’m going to try to be better about it. And if I fail, let me know...haha.)
I wonder if what we’re feeling here is something peculiar to this environment, or if it is something endemic in our generation. In this modern society so intricately interwoven, in a world that continues to shrink, why do we feel alone? And especially at a place built upon a radicalized idea of community? The church is a community different from all others, a place that, in theory, is so close that people don’t get isolated like this. I know it’s idealistic, and when dealing with real people ideals and theories don’t work to perfection. But the idea is there. We should be looking out for each other, not letting others and ourselves get stranded. We need to love each other. And part of that is communicating, spending time together.
On the bright side, this weekend was a great weekend for spending time with people. Friday night Jill and I went to the movies, something we had not done in a long time. Saturday we had dinner with a few friends. We went to
So, if anyone out there still reads this, and understands what I’m talking about, I just want to say that I’m always available to talk. Or rather that I want to be, and will be making an effort to be a better friend.
“If you need me, call me, I’ll be there in a hurry, you don’t have to worry... ‘cause baby there ain’t no mountain high enough...”
Peace...
Monday, September 24, 2007
Still no Halo or XBox, but I've got something better...
So, no one's come to my aid in acquiring an XBox 360 and/or Halo 3. No surprise there; I'm not sure anyone other than Jill reads this thing anymore. Oh well, I don't need it.
Like the title says, I have something better. How about an amazing girlfriend who, get this, did my laundry for me?
That's right. Jill did my laundry for me. I brought it over to her place to use her washer and dryer. I did the first couple of loads, but then I left for a while, with every intention of finishing it when I got back. When I came back it was almost entirely done, folded and ready to go. I don't know what I did in some earlier life, but I must have been awesome to deserve someone so sweet. It's funny though- I'm not sure most people get to see how sweet and kind she really is. She's usually pretty serious and thoughtful, somewhat reserved. She's not the saccharine-sweet kind of girl. But she does all kinds of sweet things for me. Like my laundry. Evidently she finds folding clothes to be therapeutic. I don't know... whatever it is, she's great, and I know I don't deserve her. Hopefully she'll never realize that.
Anyway, this weekend was nice. Jill and I went to the Braves game on Saturday, which was fun. We had been talking about going to one all summer, but just hadn't made it yet. So, since it was the last home stand of the year we had to go. And we got free tickets from my roommate Chris, which was very nice of him. We were sitting in the next to last row in the upper decks, but it was fun nonetheless. And we got to park right across the street from Turner Field because Jill drives a Lexus (so we used the Lexus lot).
It seems I've been on the receiving end of a long list of random acts of kindness- free tickets, free laundry, good parking, etc.
Which, of course, makes me think- when was the last time I dealt out some random acts of kindness? And since nothing immediately comes to mind, I know one thing- it's been far too long.
You see, I mentioned that I have something better than an XBox or whatever. I have Jill, who loves me and is exceptionally kind to me. And even bigger than that, I'm reminded of the fact that we're all called to random acts of kindness. It's part of following a God who deals in agapic love, also referred to as charity (especially in Dr. Jackson's Ethics class). Not simply charity in the since of a philanthropist giving to causes and foundations. Charity in the sense of good done to another without concern to repayment or benefit. Giving for giving's sake. Just being kind, helping someone in need or giving someone something just because.
It's what God does.
All the time.
I can't even begin to imagine that. The depth of goodness it takes to always be pouring out good to people who, rather than accept graciously, so often just turn away. As though we don't need it. As though God's grace is a gift we'd rather not have, thanks.
I wonder what's wrong with me. With us.
If God is pure good, to God's very essence or being, then the best thing God can do is share that goodness with us. Which, I believe, God does; I think this is most concentrated and/or evident in Christ. So it makes sense to me, then, that we should try to participate in that goodness as best we can by doing good of our own. Imitation as the most sincere form of flattery, right?
So, this is my reminder to myself to try to do some good, to give charity, to show some of God's love that has been (and continues to be) shown to me. Hopefully I can do some of that.
Peace...
Like the title says, I have something better. How about an amazing girlfriend who, get this, did my laundry for me?
That's right. Jill did my laundry for me. I brought it over to her place to use her washer and dryer. I did the first couple of loads, but then I left for a while, with every intention of finishing it when I got back. When I came back it was almost entirely done, folded and ready to go. I don't know what I did in some earlier life, but I must have been awesome to deserve someone so sweet. It's funny though- I'm not sure most people get to see how sweet and kind she really is. She's usually pretty serious and thoughtful, somewhat reserved. She's not the saccharine-sweet kind of girl. But she does all kinds of sweet things for me. Like my laundry. Evidently she finds folding clothes to be therapeutic. I don't know... whatever it is, she's great, and I know I don't deserve her. Hopefully she'll never realize that.
Anyway, this weekend was nice. Jill and I went to the Braves game on Saturday, which was fun. We had been talking about going to one all summer, but just hadn't made it yet. So, since it was the last home stand of the year we had to go. And we got free tickets from my roommate Chris, which was very nice of him. We were sitting in the next to last row in the upper decks, but it was fun nonetheless. And we got to park right across the street from Turner Field because Jill drives a Lexus (so we used the Lexus lot).
It seems I've been on the receiving end of a long list of random acts of kindness- free tickets, free laundry, good parking, etc.
Which, of course, makes me think- when was the last time I dealt out some random acts of kindness? And since nothing immediately comes to mind, I know one thing- it's been far too long.
You see, I mentioned that I have something better than an XBox or whatever. I have Jill, who loves me and is exceptionally kind to me. And even bigger than that, I'm reminded of the fact that we're all called to random acts of kindness. It's part of following a God who deals in agapic love, also referred to as charity (especially in Dr. Jackson's Ethics class). Not simply charity in the since of a philanthropist giving to causes and foundations. Charity in the sense of good done to another without concern to repayment or benefit. Giving for giving's sake. Just being kind, helping someone in need or giving someone something just because.
It's what God does.
All the time.
I can't even begin to imagine that. The depth of goodness it takes to always be pouring out good to people who, rather than accept graciously, so often just turn away. As though we don't need it. As though God's grace is a gift we'd rather not have, thanks.
I wonder what's wrong with me. With us.
If God is pure good, to God's very essence or being, then the best thing God can do is share that goodness with us. Which, I believe, God does; I think this is most concentrated and/or evident in Christ. So it makes sense to me, then, that we should try to participate in that goodness as best we can by doing good of our own. Imitation as the most sincere form of flattery, right?
So, this is my reminder to myself to try to do some good, to give charity, to show some of God's love that has been (and continues to be) shown to me. Hopefully I can do some of that.
Peace...
Monday, September 17, 2007
Anyone want to seriously endear themselves to me?
Halo 3 comes out on 9/25. I'd love to have it. And of course, an XBox 360 (just not the core system).
Here's the info: http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/25KEXJM5MAFN1/
If anyone out there has an extra $400 lying around, and wanted to do something kind, I would gladly be the recipient of said kindness. It's been a long long time since I was this interested in a video game. Guess I'm still a nerd at heart.
Okay, enough begging for stuff I want but don't need. I ought to be doing homework right now, but I need a break. I've been at it all day, and just don't want to do anymore. It's mostly busywork, which means I'm not motivated at all to do it. I've got a huge presentation to do for Thursday, but I'm waiting on a book so I can get started. Grr...
I spent most of this weekend not doing homework, and instead hanging out with Jill and other friends. Lots of football watching. That's one of the many awesome things about Jill- she actually likes to watch football. How cool is that? Yes, yes, all you guys out there can envy me. She's that wonderful. She made me dinner on Friday (cue more envy), and even made brownies for dessert. Delicious. I don't deserve her. I know.
I thought of something else I wanted to talk about here, but I've forgotten it by now. I should start making notes of this stuff.
Well, I'll spare you anymore ramblings. I'll be back.
Peace...
Here's the info: http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/25KEXJM5MAFN1/
If anyone out there has an extra $400 lying around, and wanted to do something kind, I would gladly be the recipient of said kindness. It's been a long long time since I was this interested in a video game. Guess I'm still a nerd at heart.
Okay, enough begging for stuff I want but don't need. I ought to be doing homework right now, but I need a break. I've been at it all day, and just don't want to do anymore. It's mostly busywork, which means I'm not motivated at all to do it. I've got a huge presentation to do for Thursday, but I'm waiting on a book so I can get started. Grr...
I spent most of this weekend not doing homework, and instead hanging out with Jill and other friends. Lots of football watching. That's one of the many awesome things about Jill- she actually likes to watch football. How cool is that? Yes, yes, all you guys out there can envy me. She's that wonderful. She made me dinner on Friday (cue more envy), and even made brownies for dessert. Delicious. I don't deserve her. I know.
I thought of something else I wanted to talk about here, but I've forgotten it by now. I should start making notes of this stuff.
Well, I'll spare you anymore ramblings. I'll be back.
Peace...
Monday, September 03, 2007
It's that time again...
Time for school to start back up. It's my last year of seminary, and perhaps my last full year of formal education. I've been in school since I was 5.
I'm not sure how I feel about this.
Part of me is absolutely ready to be done with the regiment of sleep, class, read, write, test, repeat. I pretty much hate any time that I have to sit down and do homework. It often seems pointless. I don't feel that I really learn anything from writing a paper that regurgitates what I have read or heard from a professor. That isn't education. It's memorization. The more time I spend in higher education, the more it seems to me that I just get to be a mimic, firing back to a professor what they think.
There aren't many chances to write about what I think. Which I suppose is somewhat fortunate, since I'm not sure I have anything that important to say. But the point is, I am tired of professors ostensibly wanting to know what I think when in reality they only want to hear their own words coming out of the mouth of another. Welcome to academia.
End rant.
Other than school starting back up, life is great. I had an amazingly relaxing summer. I only worked a couple of days a week, and I spent the rest of the time being lazy and enjoying my last real summer break ever. I've been able to have a ton of free time to do what I wanted. And of course, I wasted most of it...haha.
Today is going to be a great day. I'm getting ready to draft a fantasy football team, then on to a Labor Day cookout/gathering, where there shall be Wii, Ping Pong and other festivities.
Life is good.
Peace...
I'm not sure how I feel about this.
Part of me is absolutely ready to be done with the regiment of sleep, class, read, write, test, repeat. I pretty much hate any time that I have to sit down and do homework. It often seems pointless. I don't feel that I really learn anything from writing a paper that regurgitates what I have read or heard from a professor. That isn't education. It's memorization. The more time I spend in higher education, the more it seems to me that I just get to be a mimic, firing back to a professor what they think.
There aren't many chances to write about what I think. Which I suppose is somewhat fortunate, since I'm not sure I have anything that important to say. But the point is, I am tired of professors ostensibly wanting to know what I think when in reality they only want to hear their own words coming out of the mouth of another. Welcome to academia.
End rant.
Other than school starting back up, life is great. I had an amazingly relaxing summer. I only worked a couple of days a week, and I spent the rest of the time being lazy and enjoying my last real summer break ever. I've been able to have a ton of free time to do what I wanted. And of course, I wasted most of it...haha.
Today is going to be a great day. I'm getting ready to draft a fantasy football team, then on to a Labor Day cookout/gathering, where there shall be Wii, Ping Pong and other festivities.
Life is good.
Peace...
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
I hate moving...
Eventually, I'm hoping to get to a point where I actually update this thing regularly. You'd think this summer of working very little and being lazy very much would have been a perfect time for this to happen, but evidently not. But by request, I have returned to ramble on about whatever comes to mind.
I moved last week, leaving behind the wonderfully 1970's atmosphere of Turner Village for the more spacious (albeit equally retro) accommodations of President Park Apartment Complex. I now have a massive room, with enough floor space to actually walk around and the like, which, when compared to the labyrinth-like little path I had through my last bedroom, makes me feel almost spoiled. And to think I'm actually spending less money to live here! We even have a pool. So, while I do hate moving (especially when coupled with the fact that I'll be doing this again in only 10 months), the new place is better than the old one.
Here are some pics of the new room:
[Edit: The pics aren't showing up. I broke it.]
I've even got my own bathroom, which is actually something I have never had before. Of course, that means I'm the only one responsible for cleaning it. Dang it...
Anyway, moving out and then moving in have occupied most of my time over the last week. But now I'm just about settled in, and just in time for the summer to come to a close. I have exactly one month until classes start (AHHHH!) for my last year of education for the foreseeable future. My last year of school. Unless of course I decide to continue on and maybe get a D. Min or something crazy like that. But for now, the plan is to enter the real world come next May/June. I'm very ready to stop writing papers and taking tests, and yet I'm not completely excited about the prospect of no more summer breaks. C'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?
Let's see, what else has been going on recently.... Well, Jill's birthday was Thursday, 8/2, and we went to dinner with a group of friends and then went to Stone Mountain for the laser show. That was a lot of fun, even though a lot of people were out of town and unable to come. Boo them. They're all bad people who kick puppies and punch the elderly. I hadn't been to the laser show this summer, and I enjoyed it. I think most guys like the concept of lasers and explosions and fireworks and flamethrowers, and that was reinforced by the reactions from the guys who were with us. Good times were had by all. And we had some deliciously fantastic freshly-made taffy. So that was good too.
Of course, most of all I was glad to be there with Jill. I gotta say, being with her makes even the awesomeness of explosions and fire that much more awesome.
We have now reached the sappy portion of today's blog.
She's so much fun to be around; she makes me laugh pretty much every time I see her. Before we were dating, I never thought she'd be so goofy. She usually comes across as pretty serious (and she is), but when we're together, it seems like we're always laughing about something. That's one thing I really love about her- she makes me laugh. And I do love to laugh. Usually, I find myself making other people laugh, but Jill cracks me up on a regular basis, something that isn't easy to do. I do love that girl, very very much.
Speaking of laughing, I've been watching "My Name Is Earl" on DVD the last couple of days, and that show continues to grow on me even more. It's absolutely hilarious, and it is made even more enjoyable by the fact that it is able to push a good message (trying to be a better person) without bludgeoning you over the head with it. For those not in the know, Earl (played fantastically by Jason Lee, of Kevin Smith-movie fame) discovers the idea of karma after winning $100k and then being hit by a car. The show revolves around him trying to make up for all the crap he has done in the past; these actions are all on his list, and each episode has time trying to tackle something and fix it. It's extremely funny, and I recommend it highly.
Okay, I think I've rambled on long enough. Again, I'll try to be more timely in my updates. I'd ideally like to update this thing everyday, but I'm 99% sure I don't have enough thoughts in my head to make that a worthwhile pursuit. I am boring. Very much so. But I'll do what I can; who knows? Maybe I'll stumble upon a good idea that will make updating daily easier. Some sort of gimmick or concept. I've seen people update their blog daily with what they eat, what they're thankful for, something that made them think that day, whatever. I'll try to find an angle with which to run. We'll see how that turns out...
Until next (hopefully sooner) time.
Peace...
I moved last week, leaving behind the wonderfully 1970's atmosphere of Turner Village for the more spacious (albeit equally retro) accommodations of President Park Apartment Complex. I now have a massive room, with enough floor space to actually walk around and the like, which, when compared to the labyrinth-like little path I had through my last bedroom, makes me feel almost spoiled. And to think I'm actually spending less money to live here! We even have a pool. So, while I do hate moving (especially when coupled with the fact that I'll be doing this again in only 10 months), the new place is better than the old one.
Here are some pics of the new room:
[Edit: The pics aren't showing up. I broke it.]
I've even got my own bathroom, which is actually something I have never had before. Of course, that means I'm the only one responsible for cleaning it. Dang it...
Anyway, moving out and then moving in have occupied most of my time over the last week. But now I'm just about settled in, and just in time for the summer to come to a close. I have exactly one month until classes start (AHHHH!) for my last year of education for the foreseeable future. My last year of school. Unless of course I decide to continue on and maybe get a D. Min or something crazy like that. But for now, the plan is to enter the real world come next May/June. I'm very ready to stop writing papers and taking tests, and yet I'm not completely excited about the prospect of no more summer breaks. C'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?
Let's see, what else has been going on recently.... Well, Jill's birthday was Thursday, 8/2, and we went to dinner with a group of friends and then went to Stone Mountain for the laser show. That was a lot of fun, even though a lot of people were out of town and unable to come. Boo them. They're all bad people who kick puppies and punch the elderly. I hadn't been to the laser show this summer, and I enjoyed it. I think most guys like the concept of lasers and explosions and fireworks and flamethrowers, and that was reinforced by the reactions from the guys who were with us. Good times were had by all. And we had some deliciously fantastic freshly-made taffy. So that was good too.
Of course, most of all I was glad to be there with Jill. I gotta say, being with her makes even the awesomeness of explosions and fire that much more awesome.
We have now reached the sappy portion of today's blog.
She's so much fun to be around; she makes me laugh pretty much every time I see her. Before we were dating, I never thought she'd be so goofy. She usually comes across as pretty serious (and she is), but when we're together, it seems like we're always laughing about something. That's one thing I really love about her- she makes me laugh. And I do love to laugh. Usually, I find myself making other people laugh, but Jill cracks me up on a regular basis, something that isn't easy to do. I do love that girl, very very much.
Speaking of laughing, I've been watching "My Name Is Earl" on DVD the last couple of days, and that show continues to grow on me even more. It's absolutely hilarious, and it is made even more enjoyable by the fact that it is able to push a good message (trying to be a better person) without bludgeoning you over the head with it. For those not in the know, Earl (played fantastically by Jason Lee, of Kevin Smith-movie fame) discovers the idea of karma after winning $100k and then being hit by a car. The show revolves around him trying to make up for all the crap he has done in the past; these actions are all on his list, and each episode has time trying to tackle something and fix it. It's extremely funny, and I recommend it highly.
Okay, I think I've rambled on long enough. Again, I'll try to be more timely in my updates. I'd ideally like to update this thing everyday, but I'm 99% sure I don't have enough thoughts in my head to make that a worthwhile pursuit. I am boring. Very much so. But I'll do what I can; who knows? Maybe I'll stumble upon a good idea that will make updating daily easier. Some sort of gimmick or concept. I've seen people update their blog daily with what they eat, what they're thankful for, something that made them think that day, whatever. I'll try to find an angle with which to run. We'll see how that turns out...
Until next (hopefully sooner) time.
Peace...
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Community?
Here's what's happenin' ...
Today is my mom's birthday! So, happy birthday mom. This is when it sucks being 6 hours away, for stuff like birthdays and mother/father days and so on. I feel like a bad son, as I haven't been home in 6 months. Literally. But I'll make it home eventually. I think...
I've been trying to buy an iPod for like 2 months, and I'm not having any luck. I bought one from someone on eBay, and they didn't come through with it. Then I bought another one, and the jerk never sent it. So I'm in the middle of filing a claim against them to get my money back. It's so frustrating. I will give it one more shot, and then I'm just going to give up using eBay. I guess it's what I get for trying to save some money.
Thanks to Jill's mom, I'm currently reading a book called "The Book of Dave," by Will Self. To briefly summarize the plot, it is set in a sort of post-apocalyptic England where society has been recreated in light of the discovery of a book that was written around the turn of the millennium (2000 or so). This book was written by a cab driver named Dave who wrote the book for his son, in hopes that his son might find it one day. Anyway, the book gets discovered post-apocalypse and society is built upon the knowledge the book contains (which is all rather slanted to Dave's viewpoint).
In light of beginning to read this book (I haven't finished it yet), as well as many conversations with Jill and others, I've been thinking a lot about community. We hear a lot about this at Candler, about the value of community and how it is central to the Christian life. I completely agree that Christianity is very focused on community, both the community of the church as well as the community of humanity. Community is definitely a buzzword here, arising in pretty much every class discussion, many social conversations, etc. We spend a great deal of time thinking and talking about it. At Candler, they even consciously try to foster a strong sense of community.
But here's the deal- You cannot throw a group of people into a colloquy and simply expect them to instantly become a tight-knit community. But this is how Candler seems to think it works. Throughout Con Ed, New Testament, etc., it seems the powers that be think that we'll all just instantly become BFF's and open up to each other.
Wrong.
Community has to be organic. If we want it to be real, community cannot be forced. It cannot be mandated. It has to come out of the free choice (followed by deliberate effort to make it work) of those wishing to be in the community. You cannot make someone like someone, or make people open up to each other and share deep, sincere feelings, thoughts and so forth. I think stuff like that has to happen over time, and those involved need to have a choice in how that happens. You just can't force real community. Oh, you can make these groups and hope it happens (and sometimes it does). Or you might get the fake sense of community that I feel comes out of Con Ed (where we all sit together for 2 hours a week and get along, and then go our separate ways as soon as it's over) but I think real, true community has to come from choice.
Looking at the gospels (hey, imagine that!), we see Jesus reaching out to people, repeatedly saying "Follow me..." The gospel stories tell us that most of the time, people followed. Of course, there is the story of rich young ruler who walks away after being told he must give up everything to follow Jesus. But I think what we may overlook is the fact that these people (even though the very Son of God was asking them) had a choice to participate in the community. They made a conscious decision to follow Christ and participate in that community. They weren't names on a list thrown into a too-small classroom and almost forced to engage a group of strangers. To be fair, this can sometimes work. There are situations where random people forced into a group can become a real community, but my point is that I think one gets better relationships when people can choose. Of course, I am not encouraging some clique-type behavior where a group begins to exclude people via their choices.
This is where I think the Christian community is called to be markedly different from other communities. Whereas other communities (our circle of friends, perhaps?) tend to be insular, I think the Christian community is called to be open to all, to all who seek Christ and even those who don't. Christ was open to all he met, but he gave them the choice to follow. Those who chose to follow entered into a challenging and life-changing community.
Okay, I'm done ranting. Just wanted to get that out there. Plus, it's probably more engaging than hearing about my day-to-day escapades.
Peace...
Today is my mom's birthday! So, happy birthday mom. This is when it sucks being 6 hours away, for stuff like birthdays and mother/father days and so on. I feel like a bad son, as I haven't been home in 6 months. Literally. But I'll make it home eventually. I think...
I've been trying to buy an iPod for like 2 months, and I'm not having any luck. I bought one from someone on eBay, and they didn't come through with it. Then I bought another one, and the jerk never sent it. So I'm in the middle of filing a claim against them to get my money back. It's so frustrating. I will give it one more shot, and then I'm just going to give up using eBay. I guess it's what I get for trying to save some money.
Thanks to Jill's mom, I'm currently reading a book called "The Book of Dave," by Will Self. To briefly summarize the plot, it is set in a sort of post-apocalyptic England where society has been recreated in light of the discovery of a book that was written around the turn of the millennium (2000 or so). This book was written by a cab driver named Dave who wrote the book for his son, in hopes that his son might find it one day. Anyway, the book gets discovered post-apocalypse and society is built upon the knowledge the book contains (which is all rather slanted to Dave's viewpoint).
In light of beginning to read this book (I haven't finished it yet), as well as many conversations with Jill and others, I've been thinking a lot about community. We hear a lot about this at Candler, about the value of community and how it is central to the Christian life. I completely agree that Christianity is very focused on community, both the community of the church as well as the community of humanity. Community is definitely a buzzword here, arising in pretty much every class discussion, many social conversations, etc. We spend a great deal of time thinking and talking about it. At Candler, they even consciously try to foster a strong sense of community.
But here's the deal- You cannot throw a group of people into a colloquy and simply expect them to instantly become a tight-knit community. But this is how Candler seems to think it works. Throughout Con Ed, New Testament, etc., it seems the powers that be think that we'll all just instantly become BFF's and open up to each other.
Wrong.
Community has to be organic. If we want it to be real, community cannot be forced. It cannot be mandated. It has to come out of the free choice (followed by deliberate effort to make it work) of those wishing to be in the community. You cannot make someone like someone, or make people open up to each other and share deep, sincere feelings, thoughts and so forth. I think stuff like that has to happen over time, and those involved need to have a choice in how that happens. You just can't force real community. Oh, you can make these groups and hope it happens (and sometimes it does). Or you might get the fake sense of community that I feel comes out of Con Ed (where we all sit together for 2 hours a week and get along, and then go our separate ways as soon as it's over) but I think real, true community has to come from choice.
Looking at the gospels (hey, imagine that!), we see Jesus reaching out to people, repeatedly saying "Follow me..." The gospel stories tell us that most of the time, people followed. Of course, there is the story of rich young ruler who walks away after being told he must give up everything to follow Jesus. But I think what we may overlook is the fact that these people (even though the very Son of God was asking them) had a choice to participate in the community. They made a conscious decision to follow Christ and participate in that community. They weren't names on a list thrown into a too-small classroom and almost forced to engage a group of strangers. To be fair, this can sometimes work. There are situations where random people forced into a group can become a real community, but my point is that I think one gets better relationships when people can choose. Of course, I am not encouraging some clique-type behavior where a group begins to exclude people via their choices.
This is where I think the Christian community is called to be markedly different from other communities. Whereas other communities (our circle of friends, perhaps?) tend to be insular, I think the Christian community is called to be open to all, to all who seek Christ and even those who don't. Christ was open to all he met, but he gave them the choice to follow. Those who chose to follow entered into a challenging and life-changing community.
Okay, I'm done ranting. Just wanted to get that out there. Plus, it's probably more engaging than hearing about my day-to-day escapades.
Peace...
Monday, May 28, 2007
My what? My grill!
I bought a grill.
I will now cook delicious meats upon said grill.
I also bought a bocce ball set, so I'm looking forward to that too. I remember first being introduced to bocce ball at Off-Campus events during Rush. It is a simple lawn game that entails throwing softball-sized balls at a smaller target ball. And it is good times. I miss Rush.
Jill and I went to the Zoo on Thursday, and it was a lot of fun. Check Facebook for pictures of animals. And Jill in a giant nest, looking extraordinarily cute.
I love summer.
Peace...
I will now cook delicious meats upon said grill.
I also bought a bocce ball set, so I'm looking forward to that too. I remember first being introduced to bocce ball at Off-Campus events during Rush. It is a simple lawn game that entails throwing softball-sized balls at a smaller target ball. And it is good times. I miss Rush.
Jill and I went to the Zoo on Thursday, and it was a lot of fun. Check Facebook for pictures of animals. And Jill in a giant nest, looking extraordinarily cute.
I love summer.
Peace...
Saturday, May 19, 2007
I am a killing machine...
At least on Star Wars Battlefront II, that is. I racked up over 300 kills in one round. Stupid thing resets at 255 though for some reason, so I had to keep a manual count.
As you can tell, I'm doing nothing productive. Summertime is great. Although it would be better if a certain special someone were here. Oh well... just a couple more days.
My mom visited yesterday. She was on her way down to Florida to spend a week with some family members. So it was nice to get to spend some time with her, since I haven't been home all year. Literally. We hung out, went to my softball game (we lost, dang it), and then had dinner with friends/coworkers of mine. Good times.
Alright... I think I'm gonna try to get some real work done for SHIFT tomorrow night. It's the last one of the season, and I need to organize my thoughts.
And then I'll probably kill some more stuff. But only on my PS2.
Peace...
As you can tell, I'm doing nothing productive. Summertime is great. Although it would be better if a certain special someone were here. Oh well... just a couple more days.
My mom visited yesterday. She was on her way down to Florida to spend a week with some family members. So it was nice to get to spend some time with her, since I haven't been home all year. Literally. We hung out, went to my softball game (we lost, dang it), and then had dinner with friends/coworkers of mine. Good times.
Alright... I think I'm gonna try to get some real work done for SHIFT tomorrow night. It's the last one of the season, and I need to organize my thoughts.
And then I'll probably kill some more stuff. But only on my PS2.
Peace...
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone...
I'm such a sap. Jill's out of town for a few days, and I'm just sitting around my apartment. Kinda sad. Missing her. Bored. Etc. I suppose there are plenty of things I could be doing, but instead I'm sitting here dwelling in my malaise. She'll be back in a few days, but man, it's just not the same without her.
Now that school is finally finished (yes, I did finish that last paper. Sort of. I kinda ran out of time, but it wasn't totally horrible. But the best part is that it is finished), I have time to breath again. To enjoy life again. To hang out with Jill, with friends, with all my friends at Briarlake, etc. To read for fun. To rest. To watch movies. You get the point.
And now that I have this free time, I've been feeling kinda weird lately. Not like health-weird, more like a-lot-on-my-mind weird. I find myself locked up inside my head, even when I'm hanging out with Jill or other people. Odd. It happens every now and then, I suppose. I remember times like this in the past, where I would spend more time thinking things over with myself instead of talking to other people. I guess that's just how I roll most of the time. But I need to learn to talk more to other people. To seek their advice, to bounce ideas. We live in community- be it our friends, the church, work, family, whatever. People are communal. I *know* this, I just find it hard to really do. I've always been rather private and more than comfortable keeping to myself. Note to self: open up sometimes- you have someone who will listen.
I don't even know why it happens, why I get lost in my own head. There's not that much there. I guess recently I've spent a lot of time looking toward the future, trying to get my plans set up for next school year, and then after that.... ominous... It's a daunting task, staring "the real world" right in the face and trying not to blink. Come this time next year, I will be a graduate of Candler with a Master's Degree, and trying to find gainful employment. And on a more important, personal level, I'll (Lord willing... seriously. Please?) be with Jill and figuring out where we're going to be and what we'll be doing. All my adult life (so far), I've been able to make decisions based on what I need/want to do. But I'm at a point in my life where I need to think not only of myself, but how those decisions impact others. Not saying that I haven't tried (or should have) to do that in the past, but when it came down to it, I had the final call.
Now things are different. It's a new challenge, and I'm just getting into it. I guess that's why I've been lost in my own thoughts. This whole "thinking bigger than myself" thing is a newish development. Hopefully I won't mess it up. Life is pretty spectacular now, and things are going really well. I just need to step up and be the person I can be. Be the best boyfriend, youth minister, friend, son, whatever, that I can be. And that's probably going to involve me opening up and giving a bit more of myself. Something at which I have not always been the best. So, I guess by writing this out, I'm pushing myself to step up to the challenge. Let's see how this all works out.
Peace...
Now that school is finally finished (yes, I did finish that last paper. Sort of. I kinda ran out of time, but it wasn't totally horrible. But the best part is that it is finished), I have time to breath again. To enjoy life again. To hang out with Jill, with friends, with all my friends at Briarlake, etc. To read for fun. To rest. To watch movies. You get the point.
And now that I have this free time, I've been feeling kinda weird lately. Not like health-weird, more like a-lot-on-my-mind weird. I find myself locked up inside my head, even when I'm hanging out with Jill or other people. Odd. It happens every now and then, I suppose. I remember times like this in the past, where I would spend more time thinking things over with myself instead of talking to other people. I guess that's just how I roll most of the time. But I need to learn to talk more to other people. To seek their advice, to bounce ideas. We live in community- be it our friends, the church, work, family, whatever. People are communal. I *know* this, I just find it hard to really do. I've always been rather private and more than comfortable keeping to myself. Note to self: open up sometimes- you have someone who will listen.
I don't even know why it happens, why I get lost in my own head. There's not that much there. I guess recently I've spent a lot of time looking toward the future, trying to get my plans set up for next school year, and then after that.... ominous... It's a daunting task, staring "the real world" right in the face and trying not to blink. Come this time next year, I will be a graduate of Candler with a Master's Degree, and trying to find gainful employment. And on a more important, personal level, I'll (Lord willing... seriously. Please?) be with Jill and figuring out where we're going to be and what we'll be doing. All my adult life (so far), I've been able to make decisions based on what I need/want to do. But I'm at a point in my life where I need to think not only of myself, but how those decisions impact others. Not saying that I haven't tried (or should have) to do that in the past, but when it came down to it, I had the final call.
Now things are different. It's a new challenge, and I'm just getting into it. I guess that's why I've been lost in my own thoughts. This whole "thinking bigger than myself" thing is a newish development. Hopefully I won't mess it up. Life is pretty spectacular now, and things are going really well. I just need to step up and be the person I can be. Be the best boyfriend, youth minister, friend, son, whatever, that I can be. And that's probably going to involve me opening up and giving a bit more of myself. Something at which I have not always been the best. So, I guess by writing this out, I'm pushing myself to step up to the challenge. Let's see how this all works out.
Peace...
Friday, May 04, 2007
I am Jack's complete lack of brainpower
Yes I haven't posted in months after repeated statements saying I would. Sorry.
It's the end of the semester, and one stinkin' final exam stands between me and nearly 4 months of freedom. And I can't write. I haven't had writer's block this bad ever. 6 single spaced pages gets me to freedom, and I can't make myself write.
I am completely tapped out, mentally.
This has been a vicious semester for me, school work-wise. Everything else outside of school has been incredible- I've got an amazing woman who loves me, I've got a job working with an awesome group of kids, I have great friends who make me laugh, etc. But school just sucked this semester. Despite my typical complaints, I've always kind of enjoyed school. Not this semester.
And so instead of forcing myself to type, I am sitting here updating this blog. This paper is due Monday at 5pm. A little under 3 days from now. That's way too much time. I work so much better under pressure. Perhaps that is why I can't write. I actually feed off the pressure and it forces me to focus. I've always been that way. Some people hate it, and I seem to need it to write. But I want so badly to be done. And this is the quandary.
I think I understand now what Paul was saying in Romans 7:15, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do" Such is my life. I want so much to just be done, and yet I do not write. I suppose I should learn from this. At the very least, I'll have a personal story should I ever preach on Romans 7.
I need to write. Let's hope I can power my way through this writer's block and reach that blessed land of freedom.
Peace...
It's the end of the semester, and one stinkin' final exam stands between me and nearly 4 months of freedom. And I can't write. I haven't had writer's block this bad ever. 6 single spaced pages gets me to freedom, and I can't make myself write.
I am completely tapped out, mentally.
This has been a vicious semester for me, school work-wise. Everything else outside of school has been incredible- I've got an amazing woman who loves me, I've got a job working with an awesome group of kids, I have great friends who make me laugh, etc. But school just sucked this semester. Despite my typical complaints, I've always kind of enjoyed school. Not this semester.
And so instead of forcing myself to type, I am sitting here updating this blog. This paper is due Monday at 5pm. A little under 3 days from now. That's way too much time. I work so much better under pressure. Perhaps that is why I can't write. I actually feed off the pressure and it forces me to focus. I've always been that way. Some people hate it, and I seem to need it to write. But I want so badly to be done. And this is the quandary.
I think I understand now what Paul was saying in Romans 7:15, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do" Such is my life. I want so much to just be done, and yet I do not write. I suppose I should learn from this. At the very least, I'll have a personal story should I ever preach on Romans 7.
I need to write. Let's hope I can power my way through this writer's block and reach that blessed land of freedom.
Peace...
Friday, February 09, 2007
Okay, so it's been awhile... but let me explain
Yes, I realize it's been almost 2 months since my last post. Yes, I know I said I'd start posting more often. Yes, I realize I am a liar. My apologies... but let me present my case.
It's been a really eventful and busy couple of months. First there were finals. Papers. Exams. Projects. School, school, school. Then, I went home for Christmas. Family time, presents, all that jazz. Came back to Atlanta. A few days of rest. Then, I had to meet with the pastor at Briarlake. I thought I had done something stupid (though I couldn't think of what it might have been). Turns out, I hadn't done anything stupid. Instead, they wanted to hire me as the interim youth minister. So, I got a job that I've felt called to do. It's an incredible feeling, being right where you feel you should be (more on that later...) Then school started. Now it's back to class, reading, writing, studying, busy-work, sleep, go to work, etc. It's a bit hectic.
Of course, I'm leaving something out. Something big. Something rather incredible. Before I get to that, allow me a brief (yet relevant) tangent.
A while back, I wrote here a little soul-baring reflection on dreams. I talked about how so many of my dreams (perhaps the term might be better read as "plans") had changed or not come true.
But on the other hand, sometimes dreams do in fact come true. It's strange how things work out.
Have you ever had someone enter your life and just completely floor you? Someone who you just couldn't get out of your mind? Well, I have.
I remember the first time we met. My entering class at Candler was doing the whole orientation thing, and we were at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Center for a field trip. I remember meeting her, and being pretty much enamored with her from the start.
She was brilliant. She was mysterious. She was beautiful. She was completely out of my league. I mean, just absolutely stunning. And she was talking to me, which is a shock in and of itself. I don't really remember what we said (I probably said something ridiculous; it's what I do), but I know that I couldn't get her out of my mind.
Not just for a day or a week. For a year and a half. We became close friends. She was actually my closest friend here. Yes, my best friend.
But now... well, now things are different.
Now, after nights of dreams and days of waiting, now I can say something I've wanted to say for a long, long time. Now, she's my girlfriend. By the way, all the attributes I listed, and probably a million more, still apply. Yeah, yeah. Cue the sappy, romantic stuff. Hey- it's my blog, I'll write what I want. Ha.
It's funny. All after all this time, we're now a couple. There was always some weird undercurrent, some weird tension between us. It made things kinda awkward sometimes, to be honest. But now, it feels normal. Right. It feels perfect to say, "Oh, this is Jill... my girlfriend." It feels like we're right where we should be. Together.
Life is absolutely incredible right now. I'm sure I've begun to annoy a few people with my ridiculous levels of happiness (sorry y'all). I've been giddy for nearly two months now. Absolutely crazy. I think it's funny how, sometimes, dreams really do come true. I spent a year and a half waiting for this to happen. And now it has. And I couldn't be more... well, I don't even have the words for it. I can't describe it. I've been trying to for weeks now, and I cannot sculpt any sort of expression that is adequate. It sounds all Hallmark-esque, but that doesn't change the fact that it's honest. My life is spectacular. And if you're reading... it's mostly because of you, Jill.
Peace...
It's been a really eventful and busy couple of months. First there were finals. Papers. Exams. Projects. School, school, school. Then, I went home for Christmas. Family time, presents, all that jazz. Came back to Atlanta. A few days of rest. Then, I had to meet with the pastor at Briarlake. I thought I had done something stupid (though I couldn't think of what it might have been). Turns out, I hadn't done anything stupid. Instead, they wanted to hire me as the interim youth minister. So, I got a job that I've felt called to do. It's an incredible feeling, being right where you feel you should be (more on that later...) Then school started. Now it's back to class, reading, writing, studying, busy-work, sleep, go to work, etc. It's a bit hectic.
Of course, I'm leaving something out. Something big. Something rather incredible. Before I get to that, allow me a brief (yet relevant) tangent.
A while back, I wrote here a little soul-baring reflection on dreams. I talked about how so many of my dreams (perhaps the term might be better read as "plans") had changed or not come true.
But on the other hand, sometimes dreams do in fact come true. It's strange how things work out.
Have you ever had someone enter your life and just completely floor you? Someone who you just couldn't get out of your mind? Well, I have.
I remember the first time we met. My entering class at Candler was doing the whole orientation thing, and we were at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Center for a field trip. I remember meeting her, and being pretty much enamored with her from the start.
She was brilliant. She was mysterious. She was beautiful. She was completely out of my league. I mean, just absolutely stunning. And she was talking to me, which is a shock in and of itself. I don't really remember what we said (I probably said something ridiculous; it's what I do), but I know that I couldn't get her out of my mind.
Not just for a day or a week. For a year and a half. We became close friends. She was actually my closest friend here. Yes, my best friend.
But now... well, now things are different.
Now, after nights of dreams and days of waiting, now I can say something I've wanted to say for a long, long time. Now, she's my girlfriend. By the way, all the attributes I listed, and probably a million more, still apply. Yeah, yeah. Cue the sappy, romantic stuff. Hey- it's my blog, I'll write what I want. Ha.
It's funny. All after all this time, we're now a couple. There was always some weird undercurrent, some weird tension between us. It made things kinda awkward sometimes, to be honest. But now, it feels normal. Right. It feels perfect to say, "Oh, this is Jill... my girlfriend." It feels like we're right where we should be. Together.
Life is absolutely incredible right now. I'm sure I've begun to annoy a few people with my ridiculous levels of happiness (sorry y'all). I've been giddy for nearly two months now. Absolutely crazy. I think it's funny how, sometimes, dreams really do come true. I spent a year and a half waiting for this to happen. And now it has. And I couldn't be more... well, I don't even have the words for it. I can't describe it. I've been trying to for weeks now, and I cannot sculpt any sort of expression that is adequate. It sounds all Hallmark-esque, but that doesn't change the fact that it's honest. My life is spectacular. And if you're reading... it's mostly because of you, Jill.
Peace...
Monday, December 11, 2006
I am alive...
I am alive. And well. But busy. It is finals, and I am slowly being destroyed by stacks of books and papers to write. Fear not, I shall return, victorious.
Peace...
Peace...
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
A Little Less Frustration, A Little More Action Please...
Gar. Just... gar. I'm feeling kinda frustrated right now, for many reasons. Primarily because my truck isn't working. Yeah, the one I just bought in February. It is now just a useless pretty piece of metal sitting in front of my apartment. I'm ready to sell it, I'm tired of hassling with a vehicle that should work. I think it's a battery cable problem, but I have no real clue. All I know is it isn't working, and the guy I know and trust to work on it is 6 hours and 400 miles away.
I never realized how much of a hassle it is being without a vehicle. I was lucky enough (or rather I worked enough to save up enough money) to have bought my own vehicle by the time I was able to drive, and have had one ever since. Now, of course, I still have one. It just doesn't want to work.
Anyway, I really feel for anyone who doesn't have the resources to own their own vehicle. It's a total pain- I either have to rely on friends to get me to work, or I can hassle with MARTA. Either way, I've lost a lot of convenience and a lot of time.
Enough ranting. Think positive.
Had a New Testament test today, and I feel okay about it, especially considering the amount of studying I was able to squeeze in yesterday. Many of my friends were nervous and worried about it, but I was practically approaching a state of apathy about it. I guess I'm just calm and relaxed, I don't let minor things like a test bother me. I've never been one to get worked up over tests. I find myself often telling people "You know, in 5 years, you won't even remember this test." In the big scheme of things, a single test in a single class is incredibly small.
Let's see, what else is going on?
Oh! The youth group went to a corn maze and then played paintball on Saturday. The corn maze was okay, but the paintball was AMAZING! I had a great time. I'm now seriously thinking about getting a paintball gun. I can't wait to go back. It was my first time playing, and I have to say that I think I did okay for a rookie. I got shot a few times (and it hurt much less than I had heard it would), and I got a few kills. My best shot all day was in our next-to-last match. I was on one end of the field, and I popped up over a dirt bunker. I spotted an opponent clear across the field as he popped up from behind a bunker. I took one shot, and hit him right in the mouth. It was incredible. Good times, indeed.
Other than that, not much is going on. Just the daily grind of class, study, write, read, work, sleep repeat.
Alright, enough for now. I have to go watch a movie ("As Good As It Gets") for my Ecclesiastes class. I'll write more later this week.
Peace...
I never realized how much of a hassle it is being without a vehicle. I was lucky enough (or rather I worked enough to save up enough money) to have bought my own vehicle by the time I was able to drive, and have had one ever since. Now, of course, I still have one. It just doesn't want to work.
Anyway, I really feel for anyone who doesn't have the resources to own their own vehicle. It's a total pain- I either have to rely on friends to get me to work, or I can hassle with MARTA. Either way, I've lost a lot of convenience and a lot of time.
Enough ranting. Think positive.
Had a New Testament test today, and I feel okay about it, especially considering the amount of studying I was able to squeeze in yesterday. Many of my friends were nervous and worried about it, but I was practically approaching a state of apathy about it. I guess I'm just calm and relaxed, I don't let minor things like a test bother me. I've never been one to get worked up over tests. I find myself often telling people "You know, in 5 years, you won't even remember this test." In the big scheme of things, a single test in a single class is incredibly small.
Let's see, what else is going on?
Oh! The youth group went to a corn maze and then played paintball on Saturday. The corn maze was okay, but the paintball was AMAZING! I had a great time. I'm now seriously thinking about getting a paintball gun. I can't wait to go back. It was my first time playing, and I have to say that I think I did okay for a rookie. I got shot a few times (and it hurt much less than I had heard it would), and I got a few kills. My best shot all day was in our next-to-last match. I was on one end of the field, and I popped up over a dirt bunker. I spotted an opponent clear across the field as he popped up from behind a bunker. I took one shot, and hit him right in the mouth. It was incredible. Good times, indeed.
Other than that, not much is going on. Just the daily grind of class, study, write, read, work, sleep repeat.
Alright, enough for now. I have to go watch a movie ("As Good As It Gets") for my Ecclesiastes class. I'll write more later this week.
Peace...
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Birthdays and Dreams and Other Things...
I know, I know. I said I'd update more often. And of course, I haven't. But I'm here now, and I have a little something to say.
A little something.
Haha... I'll be here all week. Tip your waitstaff. Try the veal, it's delicious.
But seriously-
Tuesday was my birthday. I'm 24 now. I'm old. I had a good birthday- skipped my first class, had dinner with several of my friends that evening. My family sent me a big ole box o' gifts. I spent quite a bit of time reflecting on my 24 years (I'll get into that later).
Catalyst Conference was pretty cool. I enjoyed it quite a bit. The speakers were for the most part good (and some were great), the music was good, and it was rather fun. Let's see, what all did we do? I was involved in the world's largest pillowfight (10,000 people), we assaulted the national dodgeball champions; a good time was had by all.
Speakerwise, my favorites were Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz), Marcus Buckingham (a British guy who worked for the Gallup organization), and Kevin Carroll (who worked for Nike as a creative genius, essentially).
Miller talked about how the church needs to not merely confront culture, but rather be on the leading edge of shaping and influencing culture, while at the same time getting past it's own issues and really being the church. Or at least that's what I got out of it.
Buckingham, coming from a business background, spoke about being a better leader, about how the most important task a leader faces is turning a person's talent into performance. To do that, he said leaders need to find what unique strengths a person has and figure out how to capitalize on that strength.
Of all the speakers, I think Kevin Carroll really struck me the most. He talked about the value of play, and how it leads to creativity. He talked about how, as children get older, society tends to squeeze out the creative mind and spirit every kids has, and in so doing, really hinders our ability to be creative later in life. He also talked about how important it was for us to dream. Not sleep-type dreams, but dreams we (should) have for our lives. Big, ridiculous, sky-high dreams that seem unreachable. He also talked about how kids view the world: they see everything as a first. They are fascinated with life, and that feeds creativity.
Essentially, he encouraged us to dream. To play. To look at the world as a child. To me, it was the most important thing anyone said at the conference. And it caused me to really think about my dreams, what I see in life.
So, my dreams in life have been on my mind a lot as of late. I've been known to dream big on occasion. Of course, too often I surrender those dreams to the circumstances around me- school, money, etc. It seems that when things heat up, the tangible stuff is easier to grasp, and the elusive quality of dreams causes them to slip right through my hands. It's frustrating, really.
I used to think that I had to develop this detailed plan for my life, that my future steps were being laid out before me through my current actions. I worked (somewhat) hard in high school to get into a good school on a full scholarship. I had a very serious relationship with a girl who I thought I was going to marry. I went to college. I worked (somewhat) hard once I decided I wanted to pursue further education. Now I'm in seminary/grad school in order to become a youth minister/possibly a professor.
But the more I think about it, the more I feel God doesn't want me (us) to focus so much on my (our) plans, my (our) details, my (our) small little world(s). It's funny- I didn't get that full scholarship for undergrad. I broke up with the girl I was engaged to. I slacked my first two years of undergrad, and only applied myself over my last two years (and even then, I know I could have worked harder). I'm in school still (and this time I am applying myself. Maybe not as much as I could, but more than I did in undergrad). I'm single. I'm 6 hours away from what I have called home for 23...no 24 years now. I moved here and I didn't know a single person. It's been a very interesting few years. Many of my short term dreams did not come true.
The plan I had all figured out came apart at the seams.
I think God wants us to enjoy life, to enjoy the world we have. I'm not saying we shouldn't plan, or that we should not work to make this world better- I think God calls us to do those things. I am not proposing rampant hedonism. But I think, I believe, that God wants us to both enjoy life and to work at making the world a better place.
I've been reading Ecclesiastes for a couple of months now (due to studying it for class). Repeated throughout the book is the idea to simply eat, drink, and find joy in your toil, because it is all going to end. The stones that we stack will fall, and the sand will cover them. The stuff we acquire we cannot keep. The fleeting joys we seek in this world are insufficient. The plans we make do not come to fruition. In the end, after all has fallen away, broken and tattered, all that remains is God.
A lot of people might find that disconcerting. But personally, it gives me great comfort. To quote Thrice (one of my favorite bands EVER)
"I know one day,
All our scars will disappear,
Like the stars at dawn
And all of our pain,
Will fade away when morning comes
And on that day
When we look backwards we will see,
That everything is changed
And all of our trials,
Will be as milestones on the way." -"For Miles"
(Thrice's album Vheissu, from which this song comes, is, I think, the soundtrack for my life so far. It's a great album and I recommend it to anyone.)
I know that all that is wrong in this world, all the pain, all the suffering, will one day be made right. I know that it is my responsibilty to work at this (though not to assume I can do it on my own). I know that, one day, our scars will fade. That helps.
Okay, I hate to make anyone depressed, and I'm drifting from my point. But I find it interestingly funny how some things that I find extremely comforting really bother some people and upset them.
Back to dreams...
Tuesday was my birthday, as I mentioned before. I always get reflective around my birthday. So that's why this entry has been both long and intense. But it's definitely something I needed to say. Besides, I promised you more than just updates of what my days are like. So, in the vein of dreaming and reflectiveness and so on, I have been dreaming.
I realize my two main focuses in this post seem contrary to each other. I say dreaming is important, and yet I rambled about how I think God doesn't want us to plan out our lives. But I feel the two are not opposites. I think God wants us to dream, to dream big even. I wonder- did God not dream big when creating this whole universe?
But dreaming is not a business plan. Dreaming is not detail oriented. Dreams are fuzzy. They are blurry and jumbled and confusing. In essence, dreams are us. And we are, in some sense, the summation of our dreams.
I hope you dream.
Peace...
A little something.
Haha... I'll be here all week. Tip your waitstaff. Try the veal, it's delicious.
But seriously-
Tuesday was my birthday. I'm 24 now. I'm old. I had a good birthday- skipped my first class, had dinner with several of my friends that evening. My family sent me a big ole box o' gifts. I spent quite a bit of time reflecting on my 24 years (I'll get into that later).
Catalyst Conference was pretty cool. I enjoyed it quite a bit. The speakers were for the most part good (and some were great), the music was good, and it was rather fun. Let's see, what all did we do? I was involved in the world's largest pillowfight (10,000 people), we assaulted the national dodgeball champions; a good time was had by all.
Speakerwise, my favorites were Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz), Marcus Buckingham (a British guy who worked for the Gallup organization), and Kevin Carroll (who worked for Nike as a creative genius, essentially).
Miller talked about how the church needs to not merely confront culture, but rather be on the leading edge of shaping and influencing culture, while at the same time getting past it's own issues and really being the church. Or at least that's what I got out of it.
Buckingham, coming from a business background, spoke about being a better leader, about how the most important task a leader faces is turning a person's talent into performance. To do that, he said leaders need to find what unique strengths a person has and figure out how to capitalize on that strength.
Of all the speakers, I think Kevin Carroll really struck me the most. He talked about the value of play, and how it leads to creativity. He talked about how, as children get older, society tends to squeeze out the creative mind and spirit every kids has, and in so doing, really hinders our ability to be creative later in life. He also talked about how important it was for us to dream. Not sleep-type dreams, but dreams we (should) have for our lives. Big, ridiculous, sky-high dreams that seem unreachable. He also talked about how kids view the world: they see everything as a first. They are fascinated with life, and that feeds creativity.
Essentially, he encouraged us to dream. To play. To look at the world as a child. To me, it was the most important thing anyone said at the conference. And it caused me to really think about my dreams, what I see in life.
So, my dreams in life have been on my mind a lot as of late. I've been known to dream big on occasion. Of course, too often I surrender those dreams to the circumstances around me- school, money, etc. It seems that when things heat up, the tangible stuff is easier to grasp, and the elusive quality of dreams causes them to slip right through my hands. It's frustrating, really.
I used to think that I had to develop this detailed plan for my life, that my future steps were being laid out before me through my current actions. I worked (somewhat) hard in high school to get into a good school on a full scholarship. I had a very serious relationship with a girl who I thought I was going to marry. I went to college. I worked (somewhat) hard once I decided I wanted to pursue further education. Now I'm in seminary/grad school in order to become a youth minister/possibly a professor.
But the more I think about it, the more I feel God doesn't want me (us) to focus so much on my (our) plans, my (our) details, my (our) small little world(s). It's funny- I didn't get that full scholarship for undergrad. I broke up with the girl I was engaged to. I slacked my first two years of undergrad, and only applied myself over my last two years (and even then, I know I could have worked harder). I'm in school still (and this time I am applying myself. Maybe not as much as I could, but more than I did in undergrad). I'm single. I'm 6 hours away from what I have called home for 23...no 24 years now. I moved here and I didn't know a single person. It's been a very interesting few years. Many of my short term dreams did not come true.
The plan I had all figured out came apart at the seams.
I think God wants us to enjoy life, to enjoy the world we have. I'm not saying we shouldn't plan, or that we should not work to make this world better- I think God calls us to do those things. I am not proposing rampant hedonism. But I think, I believe, that God wants us to both enjoy life and to work at making the world a better place.
I've been reading Ecclesiastes for a couple of months now (due to studying it for class). Repeated throughout the book is the idea to simply eat, drink, and find joy in your toil, because it is all going to end. The stones that we stack will fall, and the sand will cover them. The stuff we acquire we cannot keep. The fleeting joys we seek in this world are insufficient. The plans we make do not come to fruition. In the end, after all has fallen away, broken and tattered, all that remains is God.
A lot of people might find that disconcerting. But personally, it gives me great comfort. To quote Thrice (one of my favorite bands EVER)
"I know one day,
All our scars will disappear,
Like the stars at dawn
And all of our pain,
Will fade away when morning comes
And on that day
When we look backwards we will see,
That everything is changed
And all of our trials,
Will be as milestones on the way." -"For Miles"
(Thrice's album Vheissu, from which this song comes, is, I think, the soundtrack for my life so far. It's a great album and I recommend it to anyone.)
I know that all that is wrong in this world, all the pain, all the suffering, will one day be made right. I know that it is my responsibilty to work at this (though not to assume I can do it on my own). I know that, one day, our scars will fade. That helps.
Okay, I hate to make anyone depressed, and I'm drifting from my point. But I find it interestingly funny how some things that I find extremely comforting really bother some people and upset them.
Back to dreams...
Tuesday was my birthday, as I mentioned before. I always get reflective around my birthday. So that's why this entry has been both long and intense. But it's definitely something I needed to say. Besides, I promised you more than just updates of what my days are like. So, in the vein of dreaming and reflectiveness and so on, I have been dreaming.
I realize my two main focuses in this post seem contrary to each other. I say dreaming is important, and yet I rambled about how I think God doesn't want us to plan out our lives. But I feel the two are not opposites. I think God wants us to dream, to dream big even. I wonder- did God not dream big when creating this whole universe?
But dreaming is not a business plan. Dreaming is not detail oriented. Dreams are fuzzy. They are blurry and jumbled and confusing. In essence, dreams are us. And we are, in some sense, the summation of our dreams.
I hope you dream.
Peace...
Monday, October 02, 2006
Yeah, nothing.
I tried to think of something worth writing here. I really did.
But the thoughts would not come. They are elsewhere, probably running freely, frolicking around like I imagine thoughts do when they're avoiding their job- which would be to manifest themselves in my mind so that I may transfer them from mind to paper (or bytes, as the case may be), and you may enjoy them.
Not happening. This whole "updating more often" thing is going to be difficult if I can't think of anything to write. Maybe I've got writer's block. Of course, one has to be some manner of a writer before that can happen, I believe.
So, on that note, I'll end this. Maybe tomorrow something will come to me while sitting bored in class.
Peace...
But the thoughts would not come. They are elsewhere, probably running freely, frolicking around like I imagine thoughts do when they're avoiding their job- which would be to manifest themselves in my mind so that I may transfer them from mind to paper (or bytes, as the case may be), and you may enjoy them.
Not happening. This whole "updating more often" thing is going to be difficult if I can't think of anything to write. Maybe I've got writer's block. Of course, one has to be some manner of a writer before that can happen, I believe.
So, on that note, I'll end this. Maybe tomorrow something will come to me while sitting bored in class.
Peace...
Saturday, September 30, 2006
I gotta start updating more...
Yeah, sorry about that. It's been a little while since the last update.
Short recap: School happens.
Back into the swing of things, I now realize how little time I have. If I'm not in class, I'm reading for class. If I'm not doing that, I'm working at church. If not at church, I'm probably asleep. Wedged in there are random segments usually occupied by friends. That seems to be my current day-to-day cycle. I usually forget all about this thing.
This week was, well, kinda crappy. On Tuesday I was walking to class, stepped off the edge of the sidewalk and fell flat on my face. Just...BAM! I landed awkwardly and nearly dislocated my shoulder. To top it off, I broke my phone. So that sucked.
Tuesday night I was actually going to go to IHOP with some friends. Got in my car, tried to turn the key... nothing. Stinkin' thing wouldn't start. This is the third time it has happened. It made me angry. So I messed with it for about 30 minutes. Getting nowhere, I decided to call it a night, so that I wouldn't get totally frustrated and push the thing off a cliff.
Woke up late Wednesday morning, and missed the shuttle to class. So, I was walking back to my apartment. Decided to try the truck, merely for curiosity's sake. It started right up. It's like the miraculous car-fixing fairy came by during the night. Anyway, I decided to drive to class, when on the way, the truck died. I was able to get it started, and I drove it back to my apartment (definitely missing class). So I spent the day reading for class and doing homework.
Wednesday night was good. Our SHIFT meeting went well, and it only took a couple hours. Now we have a good plan which should help shorten our Wednesday night meetings.
Spent the better part of this afternoon building a bookshelf and cleaning my room. It was a mess. I could barely walk through the place. My mom's obsessive cleanliness must have passed on to me- the mess was really starting to bother me. Now, the room is clean. And I have a bookshelf, which means no more random piles of books all over the floor.
Looking ahead- the Catalyst conference is this week- Wednesday through Friday. I'm really looking forward to that, for several reasons. Primarily, it will be an excellent opportunity to hear some great speakers and hopefully learn something. For those who don't know, Catalyst is for young church/religious leaders. They bring in relevant authors, teachers, church people, etc. to talk about all kinds of stuff. Secondly, it will get me out of school for a couple of days, and I'll get to hang out with some people from Briarlake, which is something I miss quite a bit. I'm definitely looking forward to the latter half of this week. Not so much the first half, since I have to do all my work for the week in advance, since I won't be in class on Thursday or Friday.
So that's what is going on, and what will be going on.
I'm really going to try to be more consistent in updating this, as a challenge to myself. And as a reward to all my loyal fans- all two of you...haha.
I think I'll try to update maybe late tomorrow (since I'll be at church all day and most of the night) or Monday. Maybe I'll have something to talk about instead of just telling you what I've been doing. I need a muse...
Peace...
Short recap: School happens.
Back into the swing of things, I now realize how little time I have. If I'm not in class, I'm reading for class. If I'm not doing that, I'm working at church. If not at church, I'm probably asleep. Wedged in there are random segments usually occupied by friends. That seems to be my current day-to-day cycle. I usually forget all about this thing.
This week was, well, kinda crappy. On Tuesday I was walking to class, stepped off the edge of the sidewalk and fell flat on my face. Just...BAM! I landed awkwardly and nearly dislocated my shoulder. To top it off, I broke my phone. So that sucked.
Tuesday night I was actually going to go to IHOP with some friends. Got in my car, tried to turn the key... nothing. Stinkin' thing wouldn't start. This is the third time it has happened. It made me angry. So I messed with it for about 30 minutes. Getting nowhere, I decided to call it a night, so that I wouldn't get totally frustrated and push the thing off a cliff.
Woke up late Wednesday morning, and missed the shuttle to class. So, I was walking back to my apartment. Decided to try the truck, merely for curiosity's sake. It started right up. It's like the miraculous car-fixing fairy came by during the night. Anyway, I decided to drive to class, when on the way, the truck died. I was able to get it started, and I drove it back to my apartment (definitely missing class). So I spent the day reading for class and doing homework.
Wednesday night was good. Our SHIFT meeting went well, and it only took a couple hours. Now we have a good plan which should help shorten our Wednesday night meetings.
Spent the better part of this afternoon building a bookshelf and cleaning my room. It was a mess. I could barely walk through the place. My mom's obsessive cleanliness must have passed on to me- the mess was really starting to bother me. Now, the room is clean. And I have a bookshelf, which means no more random piles of books all over the floor.
Looking ahead- the Catalyst conference is this week- Wednesday through Friday. I'm really looking forward to that, for several reasons. Primarily, it will be an excellent opportunity to hear some great speakers and hopefully learn something. For those who don't know, Catalyst is for young church/religious leaders. They bring in relevant authors, teachers, church people, etc. to talk about all kinds of stuff. Secondly, it will get me out of school for a couple of days, and I'll get to hang out with some people from Briarlake, which is something I miss quite a bit. I'm definitely looking forward to the latter half of this week. Not so much the first half, since I have to do all my work for the week in advance, since I won't be in class on Thursday or Friday.
So that's what is going on, and what will be going on.
I'm really going to try to be more consistent in updating this, as a challenge to myself. And as a reward to all my loyal fans- all two of you...haha.
I think I'll try to update maybe late tomorrow (since I'll be at church all day and most of the night) or Monday. Maybe I'll have something to talk about instead of just telling you what I've been doing. I need a muse...
Peace...
Friday, September 08, 2006
My future homelessness and other assorted musings...
Yeah, so I'm going to be homeless soon.
Emory has "other plans" for Turner Village starting July, 2007. Which means I've gotta find somewhere else to live for next school year (I'm cool this year). It would have been REALLY nice if they would have told me this before I signed a lease for this year. I would have went ahead and moved somewhere to get it over with. ARGH! I'm just frustrated right now, about this housing crap, and school stuff, and just other stuff.
School started on Tuesday. It's going to be an intense semester. Essentially, the only classes I am taking this semester are requirements- I've got Intro to New Testament, Systematic Theology, Ecclesiastes, Intro to Judaism and Con Ed. Notice the lack of youth ministry-related courses. That's kind of a bummer. Oh well. C'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?
Anyway, I'm still getting back into the school flow, which is in no way related to the ill flow I have when I step to the mic... wait. What? Yeah... sorry. I'm trying to get used to reading, and writing papers, and going to class. All that stuff they expect you to do in grad school. Who's idea was that, by the way? I'm ready to be done with school. I'm ready to get into a full-time youth ministry position. But, I've got two more years here, and I plan on making the best of them. I'm at one of the top schools in the country, both Emory and Candler, so I just need to be thankful for the opportunity, even if it does seem ridiculous at times.
SHIFT is going well. We've had a great couple of events, and I have a feeling this Sunday is going to be great as well. We've got all kinds of good plans. Of course, it means nothing if God's not working there. But I feel God has been, and will continue to be, there. We've all been praying for SHIFT and Momentum, and so far it's been awesome. So for those of you who read this, keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Let's see, what else is new? Got a new roommate. Todd. We have a lot in common, and we act quite a bit alike. We're going to get along pretty well. He's a cool cat.
Mentally, I've been lost in thought as of late, my mind working overtime trying to figure some things out. I don't even know. Thought I had it figured out, now I'm not so sure. So many things are beyond my control (Obscure and vague, I know. Just let me keep this one to myself).
As an aside, my Ecclesiastes class is going to be good for me I think. When I read the book, I feel like I could have written it. I can feel the author's frustration with the way things are, his angst when he says "Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless," (or "Vanity" depending on the translation. Both are accurate). It just seems like no matter how much I try, no matter how hard I work, things don't ever seem to work out. I was looking at some lyrics from Thrice the other day, and the song "Stare at the Sun" stuck out. The chorus goes like so:
"'Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Till I understand or go blind"
I feel like I need God to do something in my life (notice "I feel like I need," not "I know I need"), something miraculous. Things are going well. This summer was awesome, and I learned so much, and I was able to do so much with the youth. All that was excellent. It really was. I loved it, and it's the main reason I don't want to go back to school. But all that stuff was somewhat external. I don't know; my thoughts on this are running as I type. I just feel like I could use something in my life; I feel a void, an incompleteness, like a huge part of me is just missing. Hmm...
Back to Ecclesiastes... yeah, this class will be awesome. The professor is brilliant (most of them are at Candler. Brilliant, but strange.), and he's funny. And I love the subject. So, hopefully that all adds up to me reaching a deeper, tripartite understanding: more understanding of God, of the book, and of myself.
Alright. I've babbled long enough. No one is reading anymore...haha. I kid, I kid. To anyone who does read, I appreciate it. Feel free to leave me a note, to call me out on something, whatever. Let me know what you think.
Until next time.
Peace...
Emory has "other plans" for Turner Village starting July, 2007. Which means I've gotta find somewhere else to live for next school year (I'm cool this year). It would have been REALLY nice if they would have told me this before I signed a lease for this year. I would have went ahead and moved somewhere to get it over with. ARGH! I'm just frustrated right now, about this housing crap, and school stuff, and just other stuff.
School started on Tuesday. It's going to be an intense semester. Essentially, the only classes I am taking this semester are requirements- I've got Intro to New Testament, Systematic Theology, Ecclesiastes, Intro to Judaism and Con Ed. Notice the lack of youth ministry-related courses. That's kind of a bummer. Oh well. C'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?
Anyway, I'm still getting back into the school flow, which is in no way related to the ill flow I have when I step to the mic... wait. What? Yeah... sorry. I'm trying to get used to reading, and writing papers, and going to class. All that stuff they expect you to do in grad school. Who's idea was that, by the way? I'm ready to be done with school. I'm ready to get into a full-time youth ministry position. But, I've got two more years here, and I plan on making the best of them. I'm at one of the top schools in the country, both Emory and Candler, so I just need to be thankful for the opportunity, even if it does seem ridiculous at times.
SHIFT is going well. We've had a great couple of events, and I have a feeling this Sunday is going to be great as well. We've got all kinds of good plans. Of course, it means nothing if God's not working there. But I feel God has been, and will continue to be, there. We've all been praying for SHIFT and Momentum, and so far it's been awesome. So for those of you who read this, keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Let's see, what else is new? Got a new roommate. Todd. We have a lot in common, and we act quite a bit alike. We're going to get along pretty well. He's a cool cat.
Mentally, I've been lost in thought as of late, my mind working overtime trying to figure some things out. I don't even know. Thought I had it figured out, now I'm not so sure. So many things are beyond my control (Obscure and vague, I know. Just let me keep this one to myself).
As an aside, my Ecclesiastes class is going to be good for me I think. When I read the book, I feel like I could have written it. I can feel the author's frustration with the way things are, his angst when he says "Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless," (or "Vanity" depending on the translation. Both are accurate). It just seems like no matter how much I try, no matter how hard I work, things don't ever seem to work out. I was looking at some lyrics from Thrice the other day, and the song "Stare at the Sun" stuck out. The chorus goes like so:
"'Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Till I understand or go blind"
I feel like I need God to do something in my life (notice "I feel like I need," not "I know I need"), something miraculous. Things are going well. This summer was awesome, and I learned so much, and I was able to do so much with the youth. All that was excellent. It really was. I loved it, and it's the main reason I don't want to go back to school. But all that stuff was somewhat external. I don't know; my thoughts on this are running as I type. I just feel like I could use something in my life; I feel a void, an incompleteness, like a huge part of me is just missing. Hmm...
Back to Ecclesiastes... yeah, this class will be awesome. The professor is brilliant (most of them are at Candler. Brilliant, but strange.), and he's funny. And I love the subject. So, hopefully that all adds up to me reaching a deeper, tripartite understanding: more understanding of God, of the book, and of myself.
Alright. I've babbled long enough. No one is reading anymore...haha. I kid, I kid. To anyone who does read, I appreciate it. Feel free to leave me a note, to call me out on something, whatever. Let me know what you think.
Until next time.
Peace...
Monday, August 21, 2006
Everything...
Man it's been a long time since I posted. Here's a short recap- after we got back from New Orleans, we had a week or two, then went to camp, which was pretty good. After camp, I've been mostly working on painting and renovating the youth building at church, which meant many 12+ hour days (like probably 15 in a 20 day span). Lots of hours...
That project is close to done, however, and I've spent the last couple of weeks working on our new stuff for the upcoming school year. We're doing two new worship services/experiences for our youth- SHIFT, for high school and college, and MOMENTUM, for middle school. So I've been working on that quite a bit (with a team of about 12 students and leaders). We had a big prayer meeting Saturday night to pray for SHIFT, MOMENTUM, the new school year, etc. We just spent like an hour praying that everyone who came would feel God's presence at SHIFT, etc. It was awesome. That brings us to last night...
Last night was the first SHIFT service. I was at church working with the team all day yesterday. We had a crew completely redesign the gym where we hold Sunday morning services. We had like 200 candles and rugs and stuff. We had an awesome band, and Alfred (my boss and the student minister), spoke. It seemed like the whole thing was just hanging by a thread all afternoon as we were working on stuff; things just weren't clicking for me (by the way, I'm serving as the quasi-director for this service, so I'm sort of responsible if it doesnt work).
But fortunately, it all came together, and I really think it went great. I felt God's presence there, and I think many of the students were shocked as well. It was something completely different for them, and from talking to them afterwards, I really think they liked it a lot.
I'm still kinda wired from the service. I was so excited about the way things turned out. I don't really know what to say about it, other than it was incredible. Now, we have to plan the next one...haha.
The band played the song "Everything" by Lifehouse last night, and it was amazing. I love this song. Here's some of the words:
"And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this?
Cause you're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything... everything"
(You may have heard this song on Smallville, by the way)
That's kind of the way I feel right now. Just, how can I stand here amidst the wonderous creation God has made, and not be moved by it? How can I be at a worship service where 30-40 kids are praising God and not be moved by it? It's powerful, and anyone who thinks otherwise is missing out. It was awesome, as in awe-inspiring. Right now, I'm just realizing that God is incredible, and I just don't know what to say.
So, that's what's been going on with me as of late. Well, some of it anyway. There are other cool things going on. We'll just leave it at that for now...
That project is close to done, however, and I've spent the last couple of weeks working on our new stuff for the upcoming school year. We're doing two new worship services/experiences for our youth- SHIFT, for high school and college, and MOMENTUM, for middle school. So I've been working on that quite a bit (with a team of about 12 students and leaders). We had a big prayer meeting Saturday night to pray for SHIFT, MOMENTUM, the new school year, etc. We just spent like an hour praying that everyone who came would feel God's presence at SHIFT, etc. It was awesome. That brings us to last night...
Last night was the first SHIFT service. I was at church working with the team all day yesterday. We had a crew completely redesign the gym where we hold Sunday morning services. We had like 200 candles and rugs and stuff. We had an awesome band, and Alfred (my boss and the student minister), spoke. It seemed like the whole thing was just hanging by a thread all afternoon as we were working on stuff; things just weren't clicking for me (by the way, I'm serving as the quasi-director for this service, so I'm sort of responsible if it doesnt work).
But fortunately, it all came together, and I really think it went great. I felt God's presence there, and I think many of the students were shocked as well. It was something completely different for them, and from talking to them afterwards, I really think they liked it a lot.
I'm still kinda wired from the service. I was so excited about the way things turned out. I don't really know what to say about it, other than it was incredible. Now, we have to plan the next one...haha.
The band played the song "Everything" by Lifehouse last night, and it was amazing. I love this song. Here's some of the words:
"And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this?
Cause you're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything... everything"
(You may have heard this song on Smallville, by the way)
That's kind of the way I feel right now. Just, how can I stand here amidst the wonderous creation God has made, and not be moved by it? How can I be at a worship service where 30-40 kids are praising God and not be moved by it? It's powerful, and anyone who thinks otherwise is missing out. It was awesome, as in awe-inspiring. Right now, I'm just realizing that God is incredible, and I just don't know what to say.
So, that's what's been going on with me as of late. Well, some of it anyway. There are other cool things going on. We'll just leave it at that for now...
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